Blah blah, it's a vampire apocalypse, blah
by LovettQuell
Summary: Set after the Season Six finale. Hep V has spread and humans are turning increasingly aggresive. What could a vampire do but choose that moment to get her shit together after so long? I guess it's a Pam-centered story but will have POVs from Eric and other characters.
1. Chapter 1

Two weeks had passed since their daywalking Billith wacky extravaganza and Pam was already going out of her mind.

Tara was the only one she truly somewhat liked in her life right now. If someone had told her a year ago that she'd have a progeny of her own, she would have laughed at the face of that foolish person. If she was told that said progeny would be Sookie Stackhouse's best friend with the personality of a bad trained pit-bull, she would have checked the person into the loony bin. Yet there she was, a Maker, and even more surprisingly, she found Tara to be a decent vampire. It was still hard as Pam had always been an individualist and Eric has been the only person she'd ever risk her life for so long, but she's trying. Even though Pam still has to physically restrain her own volatile temper sometimes to not snap Tara's neck and be done with it, she can be enough of a decent person herself and recognize that she's grateful towards Tara, in all her idiotic braveness that will probably get them killed one day. Besides, duh, Pam is too proud to be _that Maker who offs their own progeny. _

Truth be told, Pam had been baffled by the sudden change between her and Tara. They transitioned seamlessly from death glares and threats to Tara hugging her after she kicked out her vile human mother from her bar. Of course she could feel the budding crush Tara had on her through their blood bond and as a vampire with a more than healthy sex drive she can see that her progeny is fucking gorgeous, but that's irrelevant. What truly shocked Pam was that she actually cared for this girl she had been trying to kill not more than a few days ago before she was turned. Pam is starting to understand why Tara is so bitter, why she can't seem to have fun even when it's presented right in front of her and what can she say, she's a sucker for that and has already allowed Tara a lot of things she didn't think she'd cave in. She muses that's the nurturer in her that Eric always teased her about.

She feels very guilty now about leaving her behind but Pam trusts Tara will be more than capable of taking care of herself. Tara likes Jessica, so at least she has her for company. She likes Jessica too, would go as far as to say she trusts her but Jessica will always be Bill's first and that's why she keeps her at arm's length.

Now, Willa… Willa, Eric's new progeny, was fucking weird. She turned out of nowhere and became a vampire as the result of her Maker losing every inch of political strategy he had left in the years they've spent in Louisiana. She still hadn't figured out how Willa felt about Eric or about her whole situation, really. She seemed just ecstatic to be a vampire.

Willa was also really nice to Pam, which puzzled her most out of everything. Didn't Willa remember that she had wanted to chop her to pieces and send her on a box as political leverage? –she didn't say she was better than her Maker at planning. So, Pam didn't hate Willa anymore because she was pretty much harmless, but she still hated everything her presence meant. The memory of Eric and her on the New Year's Eve of 1990, and how he promised her that he'd never grow bored of her and make another progeny still stung everytime she saw the girl walking around.

So, she didn't have time to be Willa's doting vampire big sister and she was leaving. She hoped Tara understood she wasn't abandoning her, just, you know, searching for the thousand-year-old, probably suicidal Viking vampire who needed no protection whatsoever… Yeah, there was no way she was going to leave Bon Temps with peace of mind and Tara wouldn't be rightfully pissed off at her.

You see, her progeny loathes her Maker and she is almost absolutely sure that the feeling is mutual with Eric. She kind of hates it. She thinks she understands where Tara is coming from because she had mostly seen her with Eric at their very worst and she guesses it's just a progeny's thing, to be awfully protective of their Makers, but damn if it didn't piss her off when Tara got all possessive and jealous and downright unpleasant to Eric and then slammed him to her face, because that really, really annoyed her. She cared for Tara, yes, but Eric was everything to her. And she would be damned if she doesn't try to save what they had. She doesn't want to live the rest of her existence thinking she stood idly by in the middle of the town she hates so much instead of trying to knock some sense into him.

She's stalling, she also knows. She's has been preparing everything to leave for a week; even as Willa's daddy had stripped as many vampires as he could in the South of their private properties and was the reason she was keeping herself and her baby vampires on tow living at a fucking hostel for now, she still had money left in banks out of the hellish state they live in. Eric had been one, if not the main target of Burrell's raid and by extension, she was as well, story of her damn life. Their beloved bar, Fangtasia, had been taken from them since the moment they were taken as prisoners. Eric's homes in Louisiana and the house she had in Shreveport on her name, had also been sold by some of Governor Burrell's cronies, but by pure chance, her beloved Pink convertible had managed to stay hid at Ginger's house.

She had probably been brooding out loud and clear for too long, because her progeny bursts in the room she's been occupying, a wary look on her face.

-Pam, what's wrong?

-I'm thinking- she mumbled, avoiding Tara's eyes. _Come on, Pam, don't be a pussy and tell her._

-Oh my God! Are you still brooding over Eric? - Tara exclaimed and the exasperation she felt was clearly written on her face. And was that pity? Pam hoped it wasn't pity; she wasn't above knocking down Tara a few pegs off her high horse.

-You have no idea what you're talking about, Tara…

-Yes, I do! Look at Willa; she doesn't even notice Eric is gone anymore. She's out there, living her life and after the shit we went through at camp, we ought to!

Pam rolled her eyes and made herself count mentally backwards from ten so she wouldn't lash out at Tara. Well, not as harshly as she intended.

-How dare you compare that little girl's stupid crush with being with someone for a hundred years? Tara, please. Don't tell me how much I can relate to Willa ever again.

-Are you sure you aren't romanticizing your relationship with Eric? - Tara fired back, as insolent and smart-ass and in possession of her death wish as ever.

-Shut your mouth!- Pam hissed, pinning Tara with a glare that would have left the other vampire with her face a pulp, bloody mess if glares could do such a thing – I'm not going to explain to you my fucking feelings.

-So, what? You are going to stay here every night and wish you were back in the last century with your precious Eric or what?

Pam looked at Tara's furious face and for a split second, considered staying. The urge to get out of Bon Temps and chase after her last chance of something she's known and loved her whole life ends up being stronger. She feels so fucking trapped all the time, and she's come to realize that after being unhappy and out of touch with yourself for as long as she'd been, there comes a moment when you hit a wall and you simply can't go on and that very selfish part of her wins out. She's not abandoning Tara, she tells herself one more time. She just wants to see Eric.

-No- she grits out – I'm going to actually do something about it.

A flash of pure betrayal crosses Tara's eyes and that leaves Pam puzzled. She knows they have bonded but please, if Eric had left her when she was a couple of months old to come back, she'd have understood. At least that's what she thinks so, she and Eric barely had time left to do anything else beside fuck like horny rabbits during those first months. Yes, that convinces her that this whole little town life routine is becoming too forced for her, and challengingly meets Tara's eye.

-Don't tell me you're going after him, Pam- Tara tells her and her voice is so sincere that yes, it does something to her cold dead heart - He doesn't know what he's missing in you.

-Tara, I'm coming back- she tells her in a soft voice and closes the distance between them a little so she can caress her face – But please, try to understand that I have to do this.

It could have been as easy as that, but no, Tara has to always make everything a pain in the ass. She guesses she likes that, but most of the time, it infuriates her.

-You've got to be shitting me, vampire Barbie- Tara hisses and Pam has to bite a grin at "Vampire Barbie." She always liked that insult, ever since the first time she heard it from Tara's voodoo queen of a cousin, Lafayette – You are such a selfish bitch, why did you even turn me?

Pam remains silent, as she doesn't think that blurting out an "I wanted Miss Fairy Snatch to help me find my Maker" would help their current discussion.

-Tara, don't go pretending like this was something we both wanted- Pam says and Tara's eyes are clearly hurt so she quickly backtracks her choice of words – Look, I don't regret making you and I don't want to release you, but don't act like you'd have willingly taken this life.

Tara just stares at her and both vampires are caught in an uncomfortable silence. Pam is itching to get going with her plan. Her mind is in dire need of a mission, of a purpose.

"I'm leaving; I've talked to Jessica today. She says you and Willa can stay with her. I totally understand if you don't want to be around Billith. I guess you can always ask Sookie for the cubby I paid for in her house" Pam tells Tara, walking away from her progeny and feeling the waves of anger and resentment in her blood.

-I can't believe you- Tara says one more time.

-Take care of yourself, will you? - Pam asks softly.

-You and Eric are the worst fucking Makers ever- Tara almost literally barked at her and Pam was sure that by the time they came back, Willa will be hating both of them with a passion as much as Tara does right now.

-Yeah, well- she gave her progeny a last, helpless shrug and dashed out of the room in vampire speed, not wanting to say awkward goodbyes to anyone else.


	2. Chapter 2

**I FORGOT TO POST DISCLAIMER LAST CHAPTER! I definitely don't own True Blood. I'm just having some writing fun with my favorite characters. **

She ran until she got to Ginger's house, in one of Shreveport's shady areas, where her car was waiting for her. As much as Ginger had all but two functioning neurones left on her brain, she was very loyal to her and Eric, and for what's worth, a part of Pam was forever in debt to Ginger that for someone as squeamish and panicky as their ditzy barmaid, she literally peeled rotten skin off her and injected needles into her forehead for a total of six days, never faltering. Ginger's antics always amused Eric way more than they amused her, but Pam had gotten used to having her around and with a sobering thought, she realized she had built a life in their little corner of Louisiana.

As much as she hated it, this town held mostly some of the worst memories of her vampire existence; she had lived there for a decade. She had become a Maker here. They had opened Fangtasia here too and while she always had economical independence from her Maker –not that she didn't enjoy spending his money just for the kicks she got at how irritated Eric would get and still grant her wishes every single time- the inception of their little vampire bar was entirely Eric and Pam's. The night they opened Fangtasia, which felt like ages ago now, was the last time she and Eric were one hundred percent together.

She knocked on the door twice before the short, blonde woman opened the door looking like a damn hot mess.

-Invite me in?

Ginger had barely said the word "come in!" before Pam was already heading to the backdoor patio where her lovely car had stayed for a couple of months now. One time, Pam had forgotten about the time and dawn had already broke (thank Jesus for vampire-proofed, black tint windows) and as Ginger's house was near, she had kept the car there and crashed at the shitty cubbyhole Eric had built in. Then she had turned Tara and the whole camp fiasco had happened and she pushed 'get my car back' to the bottom of her to-do list. She was a vampire and while she liked driving, she could run faster than cars and two, she kept the keys so it wasn't like Ginger would crash it in a horrible manner.

-So, Pam, where are you going? - Ginger asked, chirpy as usually.

-I don't know yet - Pam drawls out – Thanks for watching the car.

-Will you be back?

-Maybe, but there's no Fangtasia anymore, Ginger- she says with a frown – You need to get another job and not hang around here like a fang skank.

Pam eyed the disturbing amount of bite marks all over Ginger's neck and even her arms and felt slightly concerned.

-They are my friends! – Ginger replies, a bit defensively - I met them at Bill's that day and I'm letting them feed on me.

-How many of them?

-About five. Or six- she says with a shrug and Pam can't help the alarmed widening of her eyes – It's not like they are here all at the same time!

-Are you even being tested for Hep V? - Pam asks her and rolls her eyes at the other woman denying it with her head – Whatever Ginger, I know the fangbanger is in your blood but this level of crazy does not become you.

Pam is actually more disturbed that she'd let the other woman see. When they met Ginger, she was a wide-eyed college student who waitressed at a diner near the spot they had singled out for Fangtasia and while she was still just as annoying and desperate for Eric to fuck her, she seemed sane back then. Maybe Ginger would be the one benefactor of Fangtasia closing its doors.

When Pam opens the driving seat door of the car, she's stopped by Ginger hugging her tightly. Slowly, very slowly, Pam pats her awkwardly in the back.

-Bye, Pam. I'll miss you.

-Get a job- Pam states with a fond smirk and the implicit "I'll miss you too" is clear in Pam's voice and she hopes their little human pet catches it because she's not going to say anything else.

She speeds off in her little convertible, not giving a damn about staying within legal limits.

Pam drove until only an hour was left before dawn and by then, she was already out of the state. Not much of a change from her previous surroundings as she was still in the South, but there was a strange sense of freedom already settling in Pam. She and Eric had been forced by vampire Authority to stay in Shreveport prior the Great Revelation. Pam had always been a little bit of an elitist brat so she hated the idea of moving someplace where people still thought some lady on lady loving would take you to the front gates of Hell. Besides, humidity affects vampires too and it was always a hell of a job to keep her hair looking as good as it does with how long she likes to keep it. With that very important cons and then meeting Sookie Stackhouse and all that happened to her relating to her relationship with Eric and vampire kind as a whole in that place, she was so very glad she wasn't there anymore.

She had made arrangements for a plane ticket that would take her to Sweden, but until she reached Dallas, she had decided to go with the wind. She was already starting to feel the pull of the sun; Pam wouldn't take her chances in a strange city. She has not eaten in days, and the lack of blood makes her body react like a newborn, getting the bleeds as soon as dawn breaks.

She finds a vacant home in the outskirts of some town she didn't bother to figure out the name of, fully equipped with a swing set in the backyard and a very well taken care of garden. Damn picture perfect family who would have no idea they were going to be raid by a vampire. Pam's frown gave way to a sinister little smile.

Fuelled by the bout of anxiety she couldn't seem to melt away off her, both from the fact that Eric was missing, and the fact that she couldn't believe she was doing this, going away on her own after so much time, she decided to explore the house in the twenty minutes or so before the sun fully rose. The top floor seemed to be completely dark and running there, she was glad to find thick glass and curtains in every room. She could die for the day in a bed, thanks God.

She walked in the bathroom and opened the cold water tap so she could wash away the makeup from her face. There was something about breaking into a house that reminded her of Eric. There were few things in her existence that didn't, she now thought.

She was distractedly scratching the rest of eyeliner she couldn't get off with water when she widened her eyes at the feeling of blood in her fingertips. She was crying and she didn't even notice it. It wasn't her normal kind of crying, the one that generally left her throat feeling tight and _hurt_; this came like second nature to her, the tears were falling down her face like reflex. Vampires wouldn't changemuch in appearance but she could see her skin give off a sickly whitish pallor and the dark circles beneath her eyes, both from not feeding.

She let her body welcome death for the day as she looked upon the unfamiliar ceiling and wished for the weird crying to stop.

She kept driving the following night, aiming for the Texan state border. She knew he was alive; she couldn't explain it to any human and most vampires didn't know who turned them or simply loathed their Makers for one reason or another, his blood is forever embedded in hers. She could still feel the faint buzz if she really concentrated and she knows that's a really rare thing to occur to a progeny who had been released.

So, she figures there's still time when she stops at small border city's Sabine downtown and sees a young girl hanging out outside of a bar, looking like a deer caught in headlights. Later that evening, Pam is smirking, delighted, at how the straightest girl she's seen lately turns into a nervous mess the lower she purrs her voice. She buys the girl a fruity drink and when the human is flirting back and Pam's ego has gotten enough of a boost, she shows her fangs with a barely audible pop.

Before the girl has the chance to scream, she cups her face but holds it with the grip of a hundred-year-old vampire and the human has no other choice but to look right into her blue eyes.

-Today's your lucky night, sweetie- she told her and glamours her to walk with her peacefully out of the bar and into her car and just because she can, she sinks her teeth in the girl's thighs and not the neck or the wrist.

Feeling satiated after nearly draining the poor human dry with the self-control of a baby she just displayed, she drives over to a nice-looking store she had seen on her way through downtown a few hours earlier. The skin-tight jeans, leather jackets and just so many amazing shoes made her eyes shine with interest. She closed her hand in a fist and hit the glass, breaking it swiftly, mildly annoyed by the alarm bustling in her ears. She jumped to the top of the ceiling where it was held and yanked it down with an irritated frown. She looked around for security cameras to tear out and found none. With technology these days and tensions running so high between humans and vampires, she had to be extra careful. Pam looked around the store and for the first time since she left Shreveport, smiled.

When she returned to the car with her new wardrobe on her and then some, she was starting to feel different in a good kind of way. While most people would find it depressing or just plain inconvenient, not being sure of where to stay and not having everything planned to the last detail, had revitalized Pam.

That was what Pam spent her spare time daydreaming about; that feeling of a literal "fuck it all" that took her back to the first time she truly experienced freedom as a vampire, of a life with no near-true-death emergencies that somehow were all related to Sookie Stackhouse. It was so powerful that it threatened to make her cry again, this time, out of joy. Good God, curse her vampire hormones gone crazy but that feeling… that was the kind of feeling she had taken the gamble of her life and become a vampire for.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hope you like the update, thank you so much to the people who reviewed :) It's my first time actually writing the second chapter of something and I'm excited! Kind of a filler chapter to get further into what's going on with Pam. Her emotions are all over the place this chapter!**

**As much as I loved how hilarious the videostore plot was and Ginger coming up with Fangtasia, I always had the headcanon that Pam and Eric had the time of their lives inventing their bar, I think they get off that kind of things. **

**Have a great weekend, everyone and review, please! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer, I don't own True Blood nor any of its characters!**

Oland, Sweden; the birthplace of her Maker and his go-to spot for when he needed a retreat. It was also the place where he kept one of his oldest houses and while he would never admit to have a preference in such vain matters, she would bet her entire heels collection that it was also his favorite house. He is an old, sentimental fool like that.

She hasn't been here in ages and truthfully, she feels a little out of her element. Still, she walks the treacherous path deep in the forest that leads to the hidden mansion as she curses the meters deep levels of snow. When the huge, white house finally comes into view, she squares her shoulders for a final time and prepares herself to face her Maker. She has carried out this little trip with the explicit purpose of seeing Eric and talking him into coming back, but now she's feeling unsure and self-conscious that she's just bothering him. Well, she better swallow up her doubts because she can feel in her blood how close he is.

She knocks on the door twice and has to dig her nails into her palms to keep from fidgeting.

Predictably, reality turns out to be an entirely different thing. The door opens and instead of her Maker, a hazel-eyed, brunette woman dressed in a tight black dress that manages to look business-like is standing at the other side and for a split, insane second, Pam thinks it's Nora. After she blinks, she sees that this girl is shorter than even Nora was and her features are not dainty and soft like her deceased vampire Auntie. She is certain though, that this an ancient vampire and they are always a wild card to deal with. The last thing she needs is another hidden relative, she swears that is the the thing that would finally bring her to not speak to Eric Northman ever again.

-Wow, look who we have here- the woman says in a slightly accented voice, interrupting her thoughts.

Fucking figures that she doesn't know shit about all the people Eric hides from her but they seem to know everything about her.

-You know me? - Pam grits out, trying to gain an air of disinterest.

-You are Eric Northman's progeny, the Madame from San Francisco- the vampire replied, smiling slightly.

-Is that the only fucking thing he tells you lot? - Pam hissed, narrowing her eyes – Who are you?

-Come inside and I'll explain- the vampire says in a serious tone of voice, no longer playing games with her.

Pam reluctantly followed the other vampire inside and repressed her endless questions as she is guided through a part of the house she didn't remember visiting before. It was a hidden corridor lit with fire torches and Pam rolls her eyes at how flashily stereotyped Eric likes to keep things if allowed.

The other vampire opened the door at the end of the corridor silently and peeking from behind the woman's shoulder, Pam couldn't help the horrified gasp that escaped her.

Her Maker, what was left of him anyway, is lying in bed looking the part of a human rotisserie; the smell of charred skin hits Pam suddenly and disturbed her in a way it normally wouldn't. Pam could see chunks of skin growing back but a large part of his body was raw flesh.

-Eric, you have visitors- the vampire intoned with an inscrutable expression.

-Eric, what the hell happened to you? - Pam asked, shrill and terrified and not understanding what could have possibly reduced Eric to this state.

-Pam- he whispered brokenly – You weren't supposed to see me like this. You were supposed to be safe with the others.

-I couldn't, I just… I couldn't- Pam's voice broke and she took a step towards him – Did y-... did you try to kill yourself?

-Sunbathing- Eric replies in a rasp and tries to chuckle.

Pam was looking at him like he had lost his mind. Not a single thing of her trip here was turning out good; apparently Eric had tried his hand at suicide and failed, and the mysterious woman who had opened the door and brought her here was still staring at them with a weirdly intense expression that unnerved her to no end.

-We found your Maker a week ago buried in the snow, not far away from here- the vampire said, walking to stand next to Pam – He says that he had consumed fairy blood, allowing him to daywalk and it wore off as he was reading a novel in the nude under the noon sun. Is that true, Eric?

-Yes- he whispers, glancing warily at Pam's eyes pinned to his face.

Ok, that sounds like her ridiculous and cocky Maker.

-That's really stupid… I mean, that's the kind of shit Eric would pull but I don't know…- Pam mutters talking to herself more than to the vampire standing next to her. She snaps her eyes to the woman and knows that she can't go on before she reveals her identity to Pam – now, who the fuck are you?

-My name is Leonore Hessenstein. I'm Sweden's vampire Queen- the woman replied with a smirk as Pam widened her eyes.

-Well, it doesn't sound as ridiculous here as it does in Louisiana- Pam drawls out. She gives the Queen a mock bow.

-Excuse her; she's extremely insubordinate- Eric says in a strained voice from his bed, sounding the epitome of a father embarrassed of his daughter's uncouthly manners.

-So, you are not related to Eric? You are not his secret progeny or anything like that? - Pam asks and feels very ridiculous.

-Last time I checked my Maker was a woman- the Queen said, thoroughly amused as Eric winces – But I did knew your Grandsire closely and my Council esteemed his advice highly.

Pam nods and after a couple of beats of a rapidly growing awkward silence, Eric speaks.

-Will you leave us alone, Leonore? - Eric asks and the other vampire nods, smiling widely at him and closing the door on her way out. As soon as Pam could sense her to be as far away as possible, she spoke:

-So, did you do this on purpose? - Pam asks him in a reluctant, tight voice.

-I was acting recklessly when I got burned, yes, but I wasn't actively trying to end my life- Eric mumbles.

Pam is both heartbroken and downright furious. How dare Eric act so stupidly, doesn't he give a shit about what happens to her? What if he had died and she never had a chance to say goodbye? What if no vampire Queen found his body and Pam was left with a thousand unanswered questions and no way to go on?

-Why would you do that?- she whispers, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration and perhaps, a sort of true fear she is not accustomed with.

-Tell me, Pam, you don't think that a thousand years it's enough? Maybe it's my time to leave- Eric says in a flat tone.

-No! I don't fucking think so- she replies, rising her voice, a thing she rarely ever does - Do I mean so little to you that you would leave me on that shithole town without notice? I don't even deserve that for putting up with your shit for so long?

As soon as that initial bout of anger leaves her, the rest of it melts away and the only thing left are the annoying blood tears, pooling in her eyes. She wipes them with a rough movement of her hand before she can spill them.

-Of course you deserve a goodbye- he whispers in a tight voice.

-For heaven's sakes, Eric! You are not saying goodbye to me- she tries to sound exasperated but instead, it comes out panicked, even to her own ears.

-When I leave this Earth, I will make sure you are safe- he says, the fucking coward not daring to look at her and is instead, staring at the skin starting to grow on his long fingers. In response, Pam turns away from him.

-You are an idiot and I'm really pissed at you right now- she tells him and he sighs heavily.

-Pam, I lost my sister – he tells her and his voice strains – And my Maker not that long ago. I couldn't burden you with this; you had other stuff going on in your life.

-Don't you think I suffered Godric's death too? I knew him and I cared for him- Pam hisses and turns around to face him again - Worse than that, I felt in my blood how you felt after he died, and how much you suffered, every single night. Remember what you told me one night after you were back from Dallas? You swore you wouldn't do that to me! I knew you were talking out of resentment, but I had so much faith in us, I believed you.

She had successfully contained her tears earlier but as she finishes talking, she can't contain the sob that breaks out of her.

-I think I know now how Godric felt before he chose to met the sun- Eric tells her and then coughs, his throat still too sore for normal using.

-Oh my God- she manages to breathe out in a shaky voice.

-Come here, Pam- Eric mutters and pats a space next to him on his bed.

-What now?- she asks with a hurt look in her eyes, but still Pam walks to his bed and seats next to him as much as she can without actually touching him, mindful of his painful looking burns. He softly trails one of his good fingers along her hand and tries to smile at her, a smile so forced it makes Pam wince.

-Thank you for coming- he offers as a way to end the argument for tonight and Pam feels the sincerity in his voice.

After a moment of silence, where Pam's mind is still racing with a hundred thoughts a minute she sees Eric trying hard to keep himself awake. It's a fascinating sight, seeing the ancient Maker who has always needed no more than a couple of hours of sleep and could actually stay up during the day without immediately getting the bleeds fighting against droopy eyelids like a newborn vampire. And while he's feeling like this because of his ambiguous sunbathing fiasco and that makes her incredibly furious and dejected at the same time, she can't help the smile on her face as he sees the dumbfounded expression on his face, like he's concentrating very hard on something.

-What?

-You look adorable, Eric Northman- she replies with a cheeky grin and the smile that Eric directs at her this time, seems more sincere, even as he pats her on her arm, clearly annoyed.

-I'll tell Leonore to kick you out of Sweden if you call me adorable ever again.

-How would she even know if I come here?

-Oh, Pam, you would be surprised by how differently things are run around here- Eric tells her - Leonore is a good ruler.

-You've fucked her, haven't you?- she drawls sharply.

-Her Maker and Godric ran in the same circles - Eric tells her conversationally, trying to shrug.

-She wants to fuck you again- Pam observed with a raised eyebrow and tries to keep the jealousy out of her tone.

-Yeah, look at me, everyone would want to- he motions at his burnt body and lowers his bedsheet, uncovering the extent of his wounds. His joke falls short at the expression on Pam's face and before she speaks, he lifts it again and glances away from her.

"Have you been feeding well? - Eric changes the topic to her, a specialty of his. He even tries to sound stern, as if he could be imposing in his current disposition.

-Only once, near the Texas border- Pam mumbled, feeling the hunger when he mentions it as a scolding flame in her veins - It's not really safe out there.

-Leonore will bring me one of her humans tonight, we can share.

-Like old times?- she asks, the ghost of a teasing tone in her voice.

-Of course. You are tired and hungry, go to sleep.

-Where?

-Here- he whispers, before he touches her hand again, moving with difficulty to leave her a space. He closes his eyes like it's nothing. Like it hasn't been years since they've shared a bed, in whatever manner.

She closes her eyes and lies on her back, stiff as a true corpse before she starts relaxing and presses herself further into him. She realizes in that moment that as much as she'd like to think of herself a strong vampire, she doesn't want to know what a world without Eric looks and feels like. She came here to try to help him, and try she will.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer, I don't own True Blood nor any of its characters!**

As it turns out, vampires in Europe were faring much better than in America. The TruBlood brand was never particularly popular in this market so the resultant fallout that it caused back in Shreveport and towns alike was minimal here. As it was natural, in the face of an almost worldwide virus that attacked vampires and humans could be carriers, willing collaboration between species was wary but being a vampire in the open, felt for Pam, so much easier than she's used to ever since they were forced to come out of the coffin. How she hated that phrase.

Leonore is a far cry from Sophie Anne as Queen.

First, she welcomed Pam with a human from her very own service, as Eric promised she would. Of course, that didn't go off without a hinge.

-Why didn't you tell me you ate on the way here?

-Hey lady, if my meal had Hep V, I would know- Pam snarls with a roll of her eyes – I wasn't made yesterday.

-This illness it's not like Hep D- she says, shaking her head and her voice turning hard- There's no way to know if a human has it, that's why the rates are so high. Many are still unsure on how they contract it because they expected the same thing as you would with Hep D; metallic blood, circles under the eyes, some kind of smell.

-If I have it, don't tell Eric- Pam says, resolute.

Leonore merely nodded.

-Are you more comfortable with drawing your blood or –

-I'll bite my own wrist, thank you- Pam replies, eying Leonore with puzzlement as she moves to catch the drops of blood dripping from the wound she punctured with her fangs in a glass tube. She always pitied vampires who followed the rules as if they were still humans but she has to admit, that behavior in ancient vampires was something that secretly fascinated her. It seemed the older they get, the more they want to retain some sense of normalcy.

-I'm sorry, but you can't eat yet.

-What? I'm really fucking starving- Pam groans.

-How old are you? - Leonore asks her in a curious tone of voice.

-108- Pam says a little defensively.

-Oh. I expected you to be older than that- Leonore says with a smirk – You certainly find no trouble in standing up to vampires stronger than you.

-Older doesn't always mean stronger- Pam replies tersely.

-True. Don't take it the wrong way. You must be truly exceptional for Eric to have turned you.

She can't help it. Appeal to her ego and her relationship with her Maker, the two things she holds dearest in her cold, dead heart and she melts; she allows herself to give Leonore a small smile.

A day later, she's cleared from Hep V but unfortunately, one of Leonore's daymen leaves her the blood in a bag. If she hadn't been so hungry she would have looked for the queen and shoved it up her ass.

Still, she has to admit Leonore's tight leash on her rules has a content population as a result. Her people even work with the human government to ensure that the humans that enter their vampire feeding program take routine weekly tests to make sure they are clean of the virus.

Most of all, Pam is really glad that she gets to be here, in the middle of a crisis, as an outsider. She's so glad that all of these emergencies are handled by somebody else and she knows it makes her selfish, but she has earned her right to catch a fucking breath.

Her first week in Sweden flew past her, as she was caught up in Leonore's regulations, worrying about Eric and figuring out how to properly eat in this world where Willa's daddy had created the perfect illness to kill the vampire race. The only thing she felt partially grateful about the time craziness ate up Bill Compton's brain was him ripping that son of a bitch's head off in his own home. She checks on her blood bond with Tara from time to time, the guilt that remains from leaving her still banging in her head hard, but her progeny has her blocked. How on Earth she figured how to do that on her own, fuck if she knows. Jessica's work, probably. That girl was such a fine vampire in such terrible hands.

Another week had to pass since she arrived here before Eric's skin finished growing back.

It was a gruesome process and Pam could understand why Eric, a proud being first and foremost, wouldn't willingly want her, or anyone, to see him like that. He had spent most of the time resting and she had nothing but her rambling thoughts to keep her company as Leonore hadn't returned since delivering her the human, probably sensing she wasn't going to be fucking Eric anytime soon.

She had been reading in one of the silk-lined sofas when Eric vamps in the living room, wearing no clothes, a toothy grin on his face. Pam had dropped her book and she thinks she might have squealed a little.

Well, that was embarrassing.

-You are healed- she manages to say, trying to put on her most normal, bored-as-hell drawl and failing spectacularly – Show-off.

-Oh, so you like what you see?- Eric teased her, cockily flexing his muscles as Pam struggles to not let her eyes drift lower and lower in appreciation.

As she keeps acting uncharacteristically awkward, Eric drops it.

-Aren't we rusty? – Eric mutters, bitterness audible in his voice – Pam, why did you come here?

-You want me to leave? - Pam snaps defensively as he lifts his hands in surrender in response.

-You hate the snow- he finally says.

-I don't really care about the snow. I needed to see you- she says softly – Will you put some clothes on?

-I think this is the first time you ever tell me that- he purrs at her with a wink and Pam rolls her eyes, still not knowing if she should follow his game or if he's just feeling hyper due to not getting up from that bed in weeks. Heaven knows she doesn't want to get her hopes up about nothing.

When he comes back, wearing only a ridiculously tight pair of jeans, he's sporting a naughty grin she hadn't seen in a while. The life in his eyes is still mostly gone, but then again, it has been since Godric died. Nora indirectly dying because of him put the nail in that coffin.

-I was planning on staying here for a while- Eric tells her conversationally – It was due for quite some time, don't you think so?

-Fuck you, Eric- Pam tells him with a slowly-growing smile – I've been telling you to leave that place for years and now it's your wonderful idea.

-Do you want to stay with me?

Now that's a bomb she wasn't ready for. She had promised Tara that she'd be gone just for a little while, just to find Eric and bring him back but she realized now that Bon Temps, Shreveport and the sort were the last places on Earth she wanted to be. If she came back, would be only to take Tara with her and her progeny didn't seem like the kind of person who'd go anywhere without making it a pain. Besides, Tara finally seems like she's enjoying herself a little with the people she's known and she figures she has new friends in Jessica and Willa. For a moment there, she really wants to hear Tara complain about Jessica talking about kissing boys and sneaking out to bars… and does Willa seem like the type to braid other girls' hairs? She mentally shudders, just thinking about these hypothetical sleepovers.

And as much as she tries to picture herself in this life, with the occasional exception of Tara, she can't do it without wanting to run away from it again. Leaving Eric alone certainly wouldn't help him deal with his grief as much as he thought it was the right thing to do. True, entirely selfish reason: she just desperately wants to be with Eric, the two of them, like they used to be.

She remembers how Eric left her, truly left her, and that was the worst time of her life. Her face was melting off, she could feel in their bond just how much he was enjoying his stay at Sookie's house and she almost met the sun so poor Ginger had to lock her down in heavy silver chains, which hurt way more than usually as she had no skin to begin with. Sure, she's only known Tara for a couple of months, but wouldn't it be terribly hypocritical to do the same to her progeny?

-I'd be leaving Tara behind- Pam says reluctantly.

-You already did- he points out unhelpfully.

Pam just makes a face at him, growing more and more frustrated.

-Did you know Tara called me the worst Maker ever when I told her I was leaving? - Pam asks him and she doesn't know why she's saying this – She spoke for your little Willa too. She says we are the most selfish people she's ever crossed.

-Tara complains too much- Eric replies with a sigh – Look, Pam, I don't know why you turned her. I truly don't.

-You're the last person who should be speaking about turning randoms- she replies.

-Willa is different.

-How so?

-She was turned to meet a purpose and don't tell me about how I basically stomped all over Godric's teachings because I know it, Pamela- he says, gradually rising his voice with each word and Pam flinches. She holds her tongue on that particular subject but fuck if she's not getting tired of Eric treating her like his punching bag.

-I'm sorry- Eric mumbles – I don't want to yell at you, I really don't.

She honestly doesn't know what makes her say what she says next.

-I turned Tara because Sookie made me- Pam whispers and Eric turns his head sharply.

-Sookie doesn't make you do anything.

-Trust you to defend her even now- Pam mutters under her breath and waits for Eric's reply but his curiosity wins out – You were missing, ok? And Billith was missing as well and Jessica didn't know shit and I thought that if all Sookie needed to do to get you to come back was snap her fingers, then I better be on her good books. Of course Tinker Bell didn't do a single thing for me but it was done.

Eric is silent for a long time. Pam is starting to get unnerved that she has added more to his misery by confessing that she too basically stomped all over Godric's ideas of the bond they all share and their blood.

-What could even make you think she had a better chance of finding me than you did?

-Do you really don't know?- Pam asks, her voice a combination of furious and deeply, deeply hurt and she knew Eric figured out that she meant that moment outside the lair of the witches, when he threatened to kill her and shattered everything Pam held dear in this world with his words.

Eric lowers his eyes to the ground with a frown and after a long time, speaks.

-Pam, if you decide to leave now, I can't and won't do anything to hold you back. Especially after the way I've been treating you- he pauses and looks at her – Tara might have been a mistake, but she might be your future. I saw her in the Authority; she fought to save you, to be the first you saw when you came out of that cell.

The implications of that are not lost on Pam. Tara was a hell lot more cunning than they gave her credit for. When she and Jessica heard the oncoming footsteps to their cells, they had truly believed they were going to get killed and when she saw the blonde head of Sookie followed not by her Maker, but her progeny, she hadn't liked that girl more in her life. She wouldn't say she loved Tara, but in that moment, being a prisoner after she took the blame for something that insane girl did and said insane girl busting out a silver door and not caring if she got burned, it was just her and her gorgeous cocoa doll of a progeny and her soft, soft lips.

-She's not that bad- Pam admits with a shrug and a small smile.

-You deserve to be free.

-Eric, come on! - Pam finally shrieks, rising up from the sofa – This level of Bill Compton's brooding does not suit you.

-Still, you are free to leave.

-I will leave you when you start acting like the Eric I know.

-Pamela, I killed my sister - he says in a small voice that sounds unnatural in him.

-No, you didn't. Willa's father killed your sister.

-If I lose you too, I don't know what will become of me- Eric admits in the same morose voice that is driving Pam up the walls.

-Then let me in. I've had enough of you pushing me away because you think it's fucking noble or you think you can do everything or something ridiculous like that.

Maybe she's just hopeless when it comes to him. She really hopes another month or two doesn't make Tara hate her more.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer, I don't own True Blood nor any of its characters! **

Just before Eric found Pam, he had been world weary in the way only a centuries-old creature could be and turning her became the happiest accident of his life. During the first couple of years of Pam's vampire life, he discovered the world all over again through her eyes. There would be nights where they wouldn't leave their room, lost to the world in the arms of each other, if they could in a different place every night and parting only for him to lazily procure a meal to share with her. Not only did he find her incredibly beautiful and not surprisingly, amazing in bed, but she was very intelligent and he was growing fonder of her particular brand of crass humor with every day that passed. But what came as a shock, was the feeling of pride that came so often at Pam's abilities and strength. A baby vampire Pam hunting without any aid from him whatsoever and succeeding was always a thrill. He'd be mesmerized at how quickly Pam adapted to new things and also, at her acute sense of self-preservation, developed in a way that many new or old vampires, for that matter, just didn't possess. It made him curious about the story hiding there so naturally, he kept pestering her about it.

Reluctant answers followed, of a girl born in a gold cradle, of a cheeky, young Pam who would sneak away with the pretty neighbors and seduce her father's clients and then getting caught with one of them, a sleazy bastard who wanted to set her up and she was practically sold off to him in order for him to keep providing her father of his alcohol supply. Then he heard of the woman who stole some money from a rich, old lunatic she charmed while living in "the fucking countryside" and never looked back, hating on the entire world after being put through hell but still managing to drag on, to the point she could handle having her own business, taking on desperate girls like herself.

Finally having his progeny opening up to him, only made him grow more protective of her. The thing Pam ached for the most was freedom and at the same time, to not be alone. He would give that to her gladly.

He loved her in a way that was very different to the way he loved Godric; while with Godric it was a gradual thing born out of centuries of relying on each other, a companionship that birthed respect and admiration that knew no boundaries, Pam had come into his life and demanded terms, the attraction that pulled him to follow her all those years ago growing into an unfathomable thing that would change his priorities, his existence in so many ways.

Now, many years later, a lot has changed between them but one thing stays the same: Pam's loyalty to him and that makes him the biggest asshole alive. He doesn't even want to think about how much he's hurt her, but he knows he's bound to ask –no, beg- for forgiveness at some point. He knew he had done a lot of terrible things, but what hurt Pam the most was undoubtedly, Sookie Stackhouse.

Yes, Sookie was really pretty and quite unique in her way of dealing with life, a combination that ultimately made her interesting, at least more than anyone in her simple life, but Eric still cannot explain to himself, worse to Pam, what drove him to do all the crazy things he did in the name of Sookie Stackhouse. He hadn't even been with her as his real self, and there was only so much his ego could take. Maybe Pam had been right, maybe yes, Sookie was a remarkable human girl but it was her fairy side that drew all of them supernatural creatures so inexplicably.

He realized this at vampire camp, after being pitted to fight Pam to the true death. They were both riled on by their captors, Governor Burrell giving him the ultimate 'an eye for an eye' and the disgusting Newlin cretins had been there, cowardly and opportunist as ever. As the voice of that ridiculous excuse of a psychiatrist pierced through the glass wall, urging Pam to remember that he didn't mean anything anymore to her, he felt a spike of cold dread grow inside him at wondering the truth of those words. He turned to her, trying to get her to look at him and see something in her face that proved otherwise, but Pam kept staring at some point in the blank walls behind him, the shock gone and replaced by the growing anger showing on her eyes and the resentment she felt towards him only fueling her fire. He knew she was going to snap soon, and while she had no real chance with him, Pam's temper was something akin to a volcano. You know she's dangerous but you don't actually get to see it much in action and when she explodes, it takes everything by storm.

And that's when he understands, she's planning on going after the people on the other side of the glass wall, which he can't let her do on her own.

The only thing in his mind was to protect Pam and get her out of there alive. He didn't give a second thought about his own safety or even think about his sister's, something that would come to bite him in the ass later in the worst way possible. Eric's default setting had been Pam's life comes first, which was his natural way of things. So what could have possibly drove him to threaten her life?

Still reeling from losing Nora and so far away from their Southern hell, Sookie has been the last thing on his mind. He's only thinking about her now because he just doesn't understand, and not understanding things is something he can't stand. It makes him restless, especially after he concludes he hasn't been himself in years, not that he's sure who that is anymore.

The only thing that feels easy is Pam. It's amazingly easy the way they've fell back into each other and he could see now how much he actually needed her.

So, remembering that Pam always loved a good con, he has accepted Leonore's invite to a vampire/human fundraiser. It's definitely not his progeny's kind of party, but that's the fun of it all. She had always been quite talented in the art of stealing identities and impersonating someone she is clearly not. When she was brand new, she'd manage to find them the best places to stay, cavorting with the wealthy and the beautiful like a natural, mastering glamour like an old vampire.

He finds her in the master bathroom, after snatching the room away from him, clad in a robe loosely tied in the middle and blow-drying her hair. The one positive thing of not being bonded anymore is that he gets to sneak up on her and is silly for an ancient creature like himself the amount of satisfaction he gets at seeing her jump when she lifts her eyes and catches his reflection on the mirror.

-Hello, Pam- he says smoothly with a smug smile.

-What do you want? - She asks him, and he sees her fighting a smile of her own.

-What do you say about going to a merge?

-A merge. Why do I want to go to a merge?

-It's for vampire and human collaborations in an effort to stop Hep V from spreading around the world- he finishes in an imitation of Leonore's monotone political tone. It makes Pam snort – Leonore wants me to go. It sounds like your kind of fun.

-Funny, how much you know my tastes- Pam replies dryly, plugging the blow-dryer off and putting her long hair up in a bun on the top of her head. The action momentarily blinds him, as he hasn't seen this picture of such a relaxed Pam in a long while.

-I bought you a dress- he tells her with a smile, connecting their eyes on the mirror.

She grins at him and turns around, finally facing him.

-Did you, Mr. Northman? - Eric merely nods and her smile widens a little – I suppose I have only a few minutes to be ready for this thing you want me to go?

-You know me too well.

Pam just gives him one of her spectacular eye-rolls.

-I can help- Pam scoffs at him and he decides to have some much needed fun, enjoying the flirty tension too much to pass it up – Close your eyes, Pam.

She raises an eyebrow in question and in response, he closes the already small distance between them, his eyes not leaving hers as he moves his hand to her long neck and lowers it down and down, reaching the hem of the robe and pleased to see Pam's eyes widen and darken with desire as his fingers _accidentally _slip in and touch her beneath it. He's disappointed that he's wearing a lacy bra instead of nothing, but quickly gets over it as he watches the wonders it works on her already magnificent breasts.

-I believe I told you to close your eyes- he says with a soft smile and Pam lets out a breathy laugh, finally complying.

He undoes the knot of the robe and leaves her standing only in her very expensive underwear. He takes her hand and guides her to the bedroom, laying her on her back on the giant bed. Eric is shocked that Pam hasn't opened her eyes already, knowing how antsy she got with surprises in the past. She looks absolutely pleased on the bed, a trace of a smile still playing on her lips and a surge of affection so strong bursts through Eric that makes him think that maybe losing Pam is the blow he just wouldn't survive.

-Don't peek- he reminds her, bending down to lay an open-mouthed kiss under her jaw and he grins against her skin as she unconsciously arches her body closer to him just a little in response.

He stands up and retrieves the dress from the vanity cabinet he laid it on. He pulls Pam up again and slips her in the dress, the long gown fitting her slender body perfectly and removes her blonde curls from the bun she sported. They cascade down her shoulders and Eric is taken by this vision of Pam, wonderfully feminine and looking gorgeous in a sophisticated dress that hugs all her curves in just the right way.

As much as Pam rocked the Fangtasia outfits with a strut and would love a good pair of skinny jeans and elaborate leather jackets, Eric knew Pam adored dressing up girly, that a big part of her craved for the glam and the glitz of life. It would be at least twenty years since the last time they had done something like this together. Not for the first time, he feels the guilt of holding Pam back. The first time Pam left him, she wasn't anything close to a baby vampire. She had been a vampire for at least two decades and after taking her to meet Godric and getting dangerously close to becoming a nest, his Maker had insisted on sending them on separate directions. Pam actually had some fun building her own name among their kind but was ecstatic when he called her back to his side. Old Eric wouldn't ever release his progeny and he hates himself more than a little for it.

-You can open your eyes now.

-I already did, if I waited around for you to order me to do things…- she trailed off, shaking her head – It's purple, cute.

-It is your favorite color, isn't it?

-Actually it's lavender, but Sookie Stackhouse might have ruined lavender for me. Talent of hers, you know? - Pam drawled in a challenging tone of voice, as if wanting him to bite. He doesn't want to talk about their recent past in here, not yet.

-Make purple your favorite color then- he replies instead and Pam narrows her eyes but lets it go. She walks to the body-length mirror to check her outfit fully as she tells him he better bought good shoes to go with the dress.

-Oh… my…God. Eric! I look like a Republi-cunt! - Pam says happily, grinning at her reflection on the mirror.

And then she twirls.

Eric can't help it. He fucking giggles. That's how hilarious he finds the image of his oh-so-very politically incorrect progeny as a fancy-ass Republican housewife who attends merge parties on the regular. That and the way Pam has with words, of course.

Pam turns around, the surprise written clearly on her face and he's still laughing, but when it morphs to something else, something entirely indescribable, it makes him sober up.

-Do you like it? - Pam asks, almost coyly.

-You look beautiful- he tells her, drinking her in – You are beautiful, Pamela and… I'm a very lucky man to have you as my date.

Pam is trying to keep an unimpressed blank face at his lame attempt at gallantry but she fails spectacularly and the smile that takes over her face is brilliant and it really looks like she can't keep it away. He smiles in turn at the effect he still has on her, knowing she'd be excruciated if she could read his thoughts. His ego the size of Texas she'd say. They stand there for a few seconds, grinning at each other like a couple of fools.

-So, did you find those shoes?

Yes, it feels new but it's intrinsically familiar. This was his life. Pam is his home. Maybe that's all he has to remember about who he is.

**A/N: So, Eric's POV. If you read it and liked it, say hello? Or not. Writing this made me so Paric mushy inside. **


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